Yesterday was an incredibly difficult day. Not that today has been any easier, or the last several for that matter, but yesterday was plain awful. We had to say goodbye to our amazing, loyal, sweet, fun, loving, caring, adorable (Okay, I'll stop) Sadie girl. Sadie was 11 years old. Too young for us to let go.
In March Sadie was diagnosed with cancer. After talking with the vet we went ahead with surgery for her, which they said would give her maybe 3-5 months. Well, our Sadie made it to 4. Even though we knew the end was near, we weren't ready, and I don't think that we would ever have been ready to say goodbye. However, the past week Sadie took at turn for the worse. She had several seizures/mini-strokes, but after getting on pain meds, seemed to perk up a bit. Then came Saturday night, no eating, and Sunday, no eating, and then finally a major spill/seizure that let us know Sadie wasn't doing so well and that it was probably time. We dropped Madeline off with some friends and made our way to the emergency clinic. At 4:45ish in the evening we said our final farewell, though not with out many tears and tissues.
It would have been selfish to string her along however long she would have lasted. And now we know she's no longer in any pain. I'm sure she's in doggie heaven chasing all of the rabbits she ever wanted. We'll see her again, but in the mean time we're missing her like crazy. Everything makes me cry. I didn't want to vacuum today b/c I didn't want to get rid of Sadie's hair, which is crazy I know. I cried when I mopped, no more drool marks. I cried when I had to make more chicken and rice, half the size. I cried when I looked outside at the path, Sadie used to lay there. I cried when I went to bed, no Sadie to say goodnight too. I wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole this morning and cry when I saw that Brad had filled up her water and food bowls. And I cry as I write this now. I know it will get easier, with time that is. In the meantime, I'll go on missing our Sadie girl, and know that she is resting easy and that she gave us all some of the best memories of our lives. We'll forever love our Sadie.
Our baby Sadie at the water, her favorite place to be.
Sadie this fall when we were collecting the leaves.